Cool beads of sweat on your upper lip. The anxious churning in the pit of your stomach. The heavy beat of your heart marking every second which gets you closer to that moment that you dread… or that moment which you can’t wait for. That moment that makes your stomach feel weightless and giddy just thinking about it. That moment which plants a smile firmly on your face no matter how hard you tug the sides of it down. But throughout all of this, no one can really truly say whether that moment will even arrive.
It is the sheer power of our anticipation which makes us feel those things. We feel an event before it comes and our whole body reacts. More often than not, we realize that our anticipations end up setting expectations, which the real moment never seems to live up to: The premiere of that hilarious new movie that you’ve been looking forward to for months… really wasn’t that funny. Or that math test that you lose sleep over for weeks… actually wasn’t that hard. Everyone knows what I’m talking about. So, what exactly is at play here?
Once we hear about something that may happen in the future, a seed is planted in our subconscious. Depending on how exactly we feel about the possibility of this event, we construct a specific and elaborate scenario of it in our mind. We then become immersed in that fabrication, even believing it to be real. It replays in our mind constantly and this is what makes our heart feel like lead or a feather: an overwhelming hypothesis.
Now, some people appreciate this phenomenon and others condemn it. One person said, “He who matures early lives in anticipation,” while another stated, “Expecting is the greatest impediment to living. In anticipation of tomorrow, it loses today.” Is anticipating events really a part of maturing? I suppose in this sense, anticipation is equated with learning and gaining wisdom from past events in order to predict future ones. It could also mean being one step ahead of life and always being prepared. But, this interpretation is focusing more on the physical aspect of anticipation. What about the psychological aspect of it? I believe this is what the second interpretation was getting at. The thoughts of the future can preoccupy us so much that we don’t let the present moment soak in. And on top of that, those preoccupying thoughts have the potential to make us feel pretty miserable. But I know that, personally, looking forward to an exciting event has made for some of the happiest periods of my life. I even find myself seeking out events just so that I can enjoy the thrilling anticipation of it.
So, should we try to anticipate what is to come in our lives, or try to solely live in the moment? Does looking forward lead to a more alert and “mature” person, or a more worried and disappointed one? And I am especially curious about how our expectations of an event actually influence how we end up experiencing it. Maybe being thrown into every situation like a blind man into cold water, would unlock a whole new level of exhilaration in life that an anticipating person will never know.
But most importantly, is any of this really under our control? If all this is going on in our subconscious, is it even in reach? And if it is, how can we tame something that has so much power over our health and happiness?
You bring up a lot of interesting ideas here. I've never really thought about the debate between always living in the moment, or planning ahead and anticipating a better one. As I'm finding with almost every aspect of life, it seems like the best approach to this is to just be somewhere in the middle; if you anticipate too much and try to over plan, you're bound to miss something amazing that's happening right in front of you. At the same time, though, if you're only focused on the here and now, blindly flying through life without a plan won't work forever. I'm not so sure about this "all going on in our subconscious", I feel like we can change how we mentally prepare (or don't prepare) ourselves for things, and we control this more than it controls us. I don't think it's very hard to change your ways if you can identify that the way your mind (over or under) uses anticipation is a good thing or a bad thing, then the rest of your body and mind will probably fall into place for the greater good. I think there are pros and cons to whatever way you utilize anticipation, and the best thing you can do for yourself is to just be aware of how you anticipate things, and if this has good or bad effects. So, good post for raising awareness! It was really interesting to read too!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading this blog. What I want to address in this response is one of the last questions that you brought up: Is any of this really under our control? Well, I don't think that we can control the fact that our minds are going to react to special events with anticipation. This is bound to happen as we look forward to anything. But what we can control is whether we anticipate the event with excitement or with dread. We do have the power to influence our minds in that way; even though we can't stop anticipation from happening, we can turn it into an exciting feeling.
ReplyDeleteIn general, I enjoy anticipating events. The floaty-constant-joy feeling is well worth the price that it comes with. Because yes, even positive anticipation comes with a price: constant distraction. If it's for something really exciting, like an audition or a show or a contest, then it's all I'm able to think about. (I'm experiencing a glimpse of that right now with V-Show). And oftentimes, the time of anticipation leading up to the event is even more exciting than the event itself. Whether this is a good thing or a bad thing, I can't really tell. But a feeling of good anticipation has the power to overcome all sorts of problems that happen leading up to the event.
Wow Anya, this blog entry really struck me. You have an uncanny knack for perfectly describing the workings of emotions.
ReplyDeleteIt truly is amazing that we can feel such a powerful, and sometimes debilitating, emotion as anticipation, even though the source of that stress or excitement is usually shrouded in the mysterious future. I think the hardest part of anticipation is the fact that we're not able to directly control our future. Rather, we control the present and hope that the decisions we make NOW will change our future for the better. This is where anticipation takes root; the second we make a decision that we know will affect our future. We may have an idea as to whether we'll be better off or not, but we have no guarantee in how things will play out. This can be quite scary, if you think you've made a bad decision, or it can be quite exhilarating (and at the same time, nerve-wracking) if you believe you've made a good choice.
So, in this way, I believe we need to synthesize the present and the future. We need to know that these are the decisions being made right now. In fact, this feeling of anticipation is what keeps us in line. Anticipation keeps us moral, because we know that we'll have to deal with the mental and emotional stress if a bad decision is made, but yet we are rewarded with happiness and excitement upon making a good decision.