“Obscurity is dark, ample and free; obscurity lets the mind take its way unimpeded. Over the obscure man is poured the merciful suffusion of darkness.”
My initial reaction to these lines in the second chapter of Orlando was of utter amazement. The word choice and sentence rhythm painted such a deep and vivid picture in my mind that I was surprised when I realized it was in fact an intangible idea being described, not a black, viscous liquid. Soon, however, this literary awe faded and was replaced with brow-furrowing confusion. Wait… obscurity is a good thing?
I found myself frantically vacillating from agreement and disagreement with this thought. Agreeing, I recalled all the times I didn’t play very high in the line-up on the tennis team (playing against less skilled opponents), and there would be nobody who came to watch my match. I felt completely obscure, but at the same time, there was virtually no pressure on me, so I would take my biggest risks and hit my best shots. However, disagreeing, clips of certain TV shows would replay in mind, where hundreds of Americans would fight over a chance to be in the spotlight because it would fulfill their dreams and lead them to a better life. Well, which of these is more accurate?
Thinking about these specific examples brings up many questions. What is more valuable: the way one feels in the moment, or the outcome of one’s actions? Our life or our legacy? Of course this could be completely turned on its head. Some people feel much more comfortable when they are out of view of others, and some people perform much better under watchful gazes.
Linking and swirling around this train of thought are the questions of motivation. What gets us to do what we do? In Orlando, after his painful experience with Nick Greene, Orlando finds he would write much better if he did it for himself, not anybody else. Thousands of local police officers, firefighters, teachers, software engineers, and doctors will never get their name beyond their county borders, but does this stop them from taking pride in their job? Not in the least. There are also those who live off of the views and support of others—those who walk to be followed, so to speak. Thousands of musicians, Broadway actors, professional athletes, and comedians project themselves onto the global screen to live out their dreams or bring about the change they want.
So, with all these thoughts, what can one take away from this quote? For me, it is a different perspective. I have always believed that the emotions of the moment and the way things end up years down the line are equally important. And, I have realized over time that everyone is guided by a different light—for reasons of their own. However, I had never really considered the pursuit of obscurity. In the future, I don’t really see myself seeking out opportunities to bury myself in the darkness, but I will definitely give more credit to this option. After all, a person on center stage and a person behind the scenes have an equally important role in putting on a show. Why appreciate one and leave the other to be ignored?
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